We start off in ministry with the best intentions, don’t we?

We want to please everybody and make everyone happy.
We want to make a difference in the world.
We want to point people toward Jesus.

But sometimes our own families feel left out.

It’s a cycle that’s hard to break.

As a youth pastor, you’re doing fun things and students are showing up. People in the church recognize the difference you’re making and celebrate your success.

Meanwhile, at home, the outcomes take more time to show up, don’t they? It can be years before you see the fruit of the seeds you’ve planted there.

So, we tend to cheat at home and focus on our work at the church.

In his book, Choosing to Cheat (now republished as When Work and Family Collide), Andy Stanley suggests a few action steps to break out of this cycle:

1. Determine your priorities.

2. Adjust your schedule.

3. Test it out.

In this video, I unpack those steps in more detail.





Ultimately, instead of asking God to care for your family while you build the church, you should be caring for your family and trusting God to build the church.

If you have to cheat somewhere, cheat at work, not at home.

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Trevor Hamaker

Trevor Hamaker (DMin, McAfee School of Theology) is an author, adjunct professor, and youth ministry coach. He helps youth pastors see their potential, develop their skills, and reach their goals.

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